Drones vs. anti-drone laser cannons for fun and profit. UPDATED. UPDATE 2.

UPDATED BELOW.

Loyal Readers™, prepare to be dazzled—if unsurprised—by my astonishing prescience.

Early last week I was dining with My Amazing Lover™, and of course the topic of drones naturally came up. We were discussing the article by The Washington Post’s Craig Whitlock that I had linked in one of my Recent Reads roundups; thanks to a whistleblower at FAA, we now know about the 700 near-collisions between planes and drones this year (so far).

“But don’t worry about it!” I scoffed. “Drone manufacturers will surely come up with a perfect solution to the very drone menace they created! Then our tax dollars will not only pay for drones themselves, we’ll also happily pay America’s Owners for the technology to neutralize them! WIN-WIN!”

We ordered another bottle of rosé. It was half-price bottle night! But let’s face it, we would have ordered another one anyway.

And then lo and behold, on Wednesday morning Boeing debuted its new compact drone-blasting laser cannon!

Image: Jordan Golson/WIRED

Isn’t it cute? It looks like the infant spawn of R2D2 and the girl robot from WALL-E!

^These two are working for Boeing now, OBVIOUSLY.

The adorable little laser weapon is designed specifically for turning drones into flaming piles of wreckage. The device is controlled with a standard Xbox 360 controller, and no, I did not just make that up. (“If it breaks, just head to the barracks to get a replacement!”).

In the demo, Boeing used the laser to burn holes in a stationary, composite UAV shell, to show how quickly it can compromise an aircraft. Two seconds at full power and the target was aflame…the compact system is small enough to fit in four suitcase-sized boxes and can be set up by a pair of soldiers or technicians in just a few minutes.

GIF: Boeing.

What could possibly go wrong shooting high power laser beams at drones buzzing around commercial aircraft? FLAMING WRECKAGE FTW.

And what a business opportunity! The market is huuuuge, and I’m not just talking about every single airport in the U.S. (and beyond), or even the military. Last month, drones chased away firefighting helicopters from burning cars on a California highway, which means that every municipal fire department requires a laser cannon, too. There has been a rash of drones dropping all sorts of contraband—weed, weapons, heroin, porn—into prison yards in Ohio, Maryland, South Carolina and probably other places where they went undetected. Boeing blasters on top of every guard tower, anyone? Hundreds of stadiums need laser beam drone exploders, amid growing concerns about all those drones flying overhead. Better to have flaming drone wreckage falling on football fans and players than take a chance on nefarious jihadi plots involving unmanned aerial vehicles, amirite? It would certainly make watching the games much more interesting, that’s for sure. Oh and remember last year when I told you about that 400 pound military drone that crashed landed at a Pennsylvania elementary school? There are a hundred thousand or so public schools in the U.S., and all of them now require an advanced laser weapon. And a working Xbox controller.

And why stop there? The Second Amendment surely guarantees that anyone in the market for a drone blasting laser cannon should be able to get one from Boeing. I’ll certainly need a few of these babies myself, stationed atop the Palace turrets. I’ll be a goddamned one-woman well-regulated militia, necessary to the security of a free state! Whoo-hoo!

Now I ask you: besides Your Humble Monarch™, WHO ELSE COULD HAVE POSSIBLY PREDICTED BOEING’S DRONE-KILLING LASER CANNON?*

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Now that you are utterly in awe of my psychic prediction powers, here are some super fun facts about The Boeing Company:

• The Boeing Company famously manufactures commercial jets, but it is also the second-largest weapons manufacturer in the world: 45% of its profits come from “defense” products, including military aircraft, targeting and surveillance systems, satellites, various and sundry missiles and bombs and (last but not least!) drones. In fact, the company just received a patent for a drone that can essentially fly forever. Well, until it’s blasted out of the sky by a Boeing laser cannon. Hahaha.

Boeing’s Unmanned Little Bird H-6U drone under laser attack by Boeing’s new Compact Laser Weapon System.
(Artist’s rendering.)

• Boeing paid no federal taxes from 2008 to 2010, instead receiving $178 million in tax rebates on profits of $9.7 billion. It spent $52.29 million on lobbying during the same period, when the Democratic Party controlled both houses of Congress and the White House.

• In the 2008 presidential election, Barack Obama “was by far the biggest recipient of campaign contributions from Boeing employees and executives, hauling in $197,000 – five times as much as John McCain, and more than the top eight Republicans combined.”

• Boeing has been the beneficiary of even more taxpayer dollars under Obama than George W. Bush.

• Wikileaks released documents showing just how hard the U.S. State Department works as a taxpayer-funded sales force to sell Boeing’s jets to foreign governments.
  

• Since 1995, Boeing has paid over $1.3 trillion (<—not a typo) in penalties for 60 instances of misconduct, including $615 million in 2006 in relation to illegal hiring of government officials and improper use of proprietary information. Just since Obama took office, new charges have included breach of contract, fraud, kickbacks, labor law violations, overbilling, whistleblower retaliation and multiple incidents of water pollution.

• Since 2008, Boeing has laid off 14,862 workers. In 2010 it increased pay for its top five executives to $41.9 million—a 31% raise.

Have a nice day.

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*Okay, anyone with even a minimal understanding of how U.S. capitalism and government work would have predicted precisely this development. But My Amazing Lover™ sure seemed quite impressed with me as I jumped around the Palace animatedly, shrieking “Didn’t I JUST SAY this would happen?! Huh? Weren’t we JUST TALKING about this?!” All right, so maybe “impressed” isn’t exactly accurate. But it’s what I’m going with, people.

UPDATE:

Two things pinged my radar after posting yesterday:

• U.S. launches secret drone campaign to hunt Islamic State leaders in Syria.

• Bernie Sanders Says He Will Not End Drone Program If Elected President.

Just a little reminder, from the Palace Library archives:

• US drone strikes more deadly to Afghan civilians than manned aircraft. Ackerman, S., The Guardian (Jul. 2013):

A study conducted by a US military adviser has found that drone strikes in Afghanistan during a year of the protracted conflict caused 10 times more civilian casualties than strikes by manned fighter aircraft.

UPDATE 2:

It turns out you don’t need a Boeing laser cannon to take down a drone after all: chimpanzees with sticks can get the job done quite nicely.

Plus, you have to admit it would be so awesome having a bunch of chimps hanging around all our airports, prisons, schools and stadiums.

Boeing’s Unmanned Little Bird H-6U drone under attack by chimpanzees with sticks
(Author’s rendering.)

Anybody know whether the chimps have a lobbyist yet? Asking for a friend…

Recent reading.

It’s Time for Atheists to Stop Debating God’s Existence and Decide What to Do About It. Lee, A., AlterNet via The Guardian (Mar. 2015). [h/t SJ] (“For too long, atheists have conducted abstract debates. It’s time to focus on the pursuit of justice.”) [IRIS ♥ Adam Lee, but this strikes me as hopelessly naive in in light of things like this. –Ed.]

10 stunning images show the beauty hidden in pi. Swanson, A., The Washington Post (Mar. 14). [h/t Mr. Born]

NYPD Edited Police Brutality Wikipedia Entries: IP addresses linked to the NYPD found to have altered Wikipedia pages about Eric Garner, Amadou Diallo and Sean Bell. Kreps, D., Rolling Stone (Mar. 2015).

The CIA and America’s Presidents: Some Rarely Discussed Truths Shaping Contemporary American Democracy. Chuckman, J., Counterpunch (Mar. 2015).

Consent: Not actually that complicated. Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess (Mar. 2015).

Project Vox. (“Project Vox seeks to recover the lost voices of women who have been ignored in standard narratives of the history of modern philosophy…From Lady Masham, Margaret Cavendish and Anne Conway in England to Émilie Du Châtelet in France, many women played significant roles in the development of modern philosophy, but their contributions have often gone unnoticed.”)

related:

Finding Philosophy’s Female Voices. Ferreri, E., Duke Today (Mar. 2015).

Throw a Dinner Party with This Creepy Tableware and Watch Everyone Run Away. Zuras, M., Munchies at Vice (Mar. 2015). [WANT. –Ed.]

I can haz dis teekup nao plz.

Homeopathy not effective for treating any condition, Australian report finds. Davey, M., The Guardian (Mar. 2015). [GTFO. –Ed.]

Anita Sarkeesian Describes the Fury She Cannot Express in Public. RH Reality Check via youtube (Mar. 2015). [VIDEO]

Best State for Business? Yes, California. Winkler, M.A., Bloomberg Business (Mar. 2015). [But high taxes! Evil regulations! BOOOOOTSTRAPPPPPS!!! –Ed.]

White Christian America in Decline: Why Young People Are Sick of Conservative Religion. Marcotte, A., AlterNet (Mar. 2015). (“White Christians are now a minority in 19 states.”) [Needz moar lionz? –Ed.]

Trans woman shows how ‘ridiculous’ bathroom bans are with urinal selfie campaign. Wee, D., Gay Star News (Mar. 2015). [I love everything about this woman’s campaign. Except, of course, the need for it in the first place. –Ed.]

related:

Trans selfies have caught bathroom bans and lawmakers with their pants down. Fae, J., Gay Star News (Mar. 2015).

Twitter Explodes With ‘Rap Albums That Caused Slavery’ After MSNBC Segment. Walsh, T., Talking Points Memo (Mar. 2015). (“Twitter blew up with the satirical hashtag #RapAlbumsThatCausedSlavery on Wednesday morning after a panel on MSNBC managed to blame rap music for a recent outburst of racism at the University of Oklahoma.”) [And I love everything about this too. Except the need for it in the first place. –Ed.]

Why White People Freak Out When They’re Called Out About Race. Adler-Bell, S., AlterNet (Mar. 2015). [An excellent interview with anti-racist educator and author Robin DiAngelo, who wrote the brilliant and insightful 2011 journal article White Fragility we linked for you before. –Ed.]

The melting of Antarctica was already really bad. It just got worse. Mooney, C., The Washington Post (Mar. 2015).

These Badass Feminist Tattoos Are the Perfect Accessory for Smashing the Patriarchy. Bianco, M., Mic (Mar. 2015).

An 11-year-old reported being raped twice, wound up with a conviction. Walters, J., The Washington Post (Mar. 2015). [TRIGGER WARNING: One of the worst stories I have ever heard. And that is saying something, my friends. –Ed.]

Eight Pseudoscientific Climate Claims Debunked by Real Scientists. Holland, J., Moyers & Co. (May 2014).

The Throwback Sexism of Kleiner Perkins. Williams, J.C., Harvard Business Review (Mar. 2015). (“Pao v. Kleiner Perkins is not just about the kind of subtle stereotyping that’s common at many large tech companies. Much of what Pao describes is something quite different: an atmosphere straight from the blatant bias playbook.”)

25 Times Tumblr Told The Truth About Mental Health. Nigatu, H., BuzzFeed (Feb. 2015).

Drones and the rise of the high-tech assassins: How twenty-three innocent Afghani civilians were wiped out by self-deceiving drone operators seven and a half thousand miles away. Cockburn, A., Boing Boing (Mar. 2015). [h/t Julie] [Our tax dollars at work Keeping Us Safe™. –Ed.]

How White Separatists Disable Native American Facebook Accounts. Bogado, A., Colorlines (Mar. 2015).

33 Things That Secretly Want To Kill You. Pulptastic [h/t Julie] [Hahaha. Pareidolia FTW. –Ed.]

Why death rates among white women are soaring. Paquette, D., The Washington Post (Mar. 2015). [SPOILER ALERT! Prescription painkillers. –Ed.]

A Woman Is Writing Feminist Messages On Period Pads And Posting Them Around Her City: One message reads “Imagine if men were as disgusted with rape as they are with periods.” Warren, R., BuzzFeed (Mar. 2015). [Indeed. –Ed.]

Crisis Pregnancy Centers Lie: The Insidious Threat To Reproductive Freedom. NARAL Pro-Choice America (pdf) (“Anti-choice organizations claim more than 3,500 of these fake clinics are in operation across the country, far outnumbering the ever-dwindling number of abortion clinics.”)

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PLZ NOTE: Acquisition of links and/or bon mots for the Palace Library does not imply the Palace’s 100% agreement with or endorsement of any content, organization or individual.

Recent reads.

FOIA Documents Reveal Massive DEA Program to Record American’s Whereabouts With License Plate Readers. Stein, B., ACLU (Jan. 2015).

DHS intelligence report warns of domestic right-wing terror threat. Perez, E. and Bruer, W., CNN (Feb. 2015). [h/t SJ] (“Some federal and local law enforcement groups view the domestic terror threat from sovereign citizen groups as equal to — and in some cases greater than — the threat from foreign Islamic terror groups”) [No shit. –Ed.]

Editor of major newspaper says he planted stories for CIA. Lopez, R., Digital Journal (Jan. 2015). [Quelle surprise. –Ed.]

The U.S. Media and the 13-Year-Old Yemeni Boy Burned to Death Last Month by a U.S. Drone. Greenwald, G., The Intercept (Feb. 2015). (“Most Americans, by design, will have no idea that their government just burned a 13-year-old boy to death and then claimed he was a Terrorist.”)

Obama administration to allow sales of armed drones to allies. Ryan, M., The Washington Post (Feb. 2015). [Finally! Now other countries can enjoy burning 13-year-olds to death too! –Ed.]

1 In 3 College Men In Survey Say They Would Rape A Woman If They Could Get Away With It. Culp-Ressler, T., Think Progress (Jan. 2015). [ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. –Ed.]

How Israeli High-Tech Firms Are Turning the U.S.-Mexico Border into a New Kind of Hell. Miller, T. and Schivone, G., TomDispatch via AlterNet (Jan. 2015).

The Great SIM Heist: How Spies Stole the Keys to the Encryption Castle. Scahill, J. and Begley, J., The Intercept (Feb. 2015). (“The hack…gave the surveillance agencies the potential to secretly monitor a large portion of the world’s cellular communications, including both voice and data.”)

To the Parent of the Unvaccinated Child Who Exposed My Family to Measles. Jacks, T., Mother Jones (Feb. 2015). (“When your child gets sick, others are endangered—including my daughter with cancer.”) [To the parent of that unvaccinated child from Perry Street Palace: FUCK YOU. –Ed.]

What Not To Wear After 50. Combs, C., Better After 50 (Feb. 2015). (“Resting bitch face. Hahahahaha. Just kidding. Wear that one all you want.”)

I’m Brianna Wu, And I’m Risking My Life Standing Up To Gamergate. Wu, B., Bustle (Feb. 2015).

Natural Deception: Conned By the World Congress of Families. Parke, C., Political Research Associates (Jan. 2015). (“the organization is leading a global legislative and public relations campaign against LGBTQ and reproductive rights.”) [They seem nice. –Ed.]

Jeb ‘Put Me Through Hell’. Kruse, M., Politico Magazine (Jan. 2015). (“Michael Schiavo knows as well as anyone what Jeb Bush can do with executive power. He thinks you ought to know too.”)

Here Are 25 Jokes That Only Nerds Will Understand. If You Laugh Then Yep, You’re A Nerd! Boredom Therapy (Jul. 2014).

The Anti-Vaccine Movement Should Be Ridiculed, Because Shame Works. Novak, M., Gizmodo (Feb. 2015). [Hear, hear! He must be reading my blog! This d00d disagrees, though, and says “People who are told their deeply held beliefs are stupid tend to withdraw from the conversation.” Um, perhaps someone can ‘splain to me why getting these assholes to shut the fuck up would be a bad thing? I mean, there is a reason unvaccinated children with measles are found in clusters, and that reason is anti-vaxxers spreading their deeply held beliefs deadly bad ideas to others. –Ed.]

FBI monitored and critiqued African American writers for decades. Flood, A., The Guardian (Feb. 2015).

Policing Our Girls. Hutchinson, S., blackfemlens (Feb. 2015).

Gay People Posting Photos Of Gay People On Facebook Is Persecuting Christians Says Perkins. Badash, D., The New Civil Rights Movement (Jan. 2015). [To all mah gay peeps: go forth and persecute. –Ed.]

Something Really, Really Terrible Is About to Happen to Our Coral. Philpott, T., Mother Jones (Jan. 2015). [I hate people. Have I mentioned that I hate people? Well, I hate people. –Ed.]

How secular family values stack up. Zuckerman, P., The Los Angeles Times (Feb. 2015). (“Far from being dysfunctional, nihilistic and rudderless without the security and rectitude of religion, secular households provide a sound and solid foundation for children”) [h/t SJ]

Why science is so hard to believe. Achenbach, J., Washington Post (Feb. 2015).

10 Senate Ds Think Drillers Should Be Able to Inject Whatever the Frack They Want into Your Water. Liberty Equality Fraternity and Trees, Daily Kos (Jan. 2015). [In case you’re wondering who these motherfrackers are: Michael Bennet (D-CO), Joe Donnelly (D-IN), Martin Heinrich (D-NM), Heidi Heitkamp (D-ND), Tim Kaine (D-VA), Joe Manchin (D-WV), Claire McCaskill (D-MO), Jon Tester (D-MT), Tom Udall (D-NM) and Mark Warner (D-VA). –Ed.]

Obama, Biden & Pelosi Lobbying Hard for TPP. Publius, G., Hullabaloo (Feb. 2015).

Source Code Similarities: Experts Unmask ‘Regin’ Trojan as NSA Tool. Rosenbach, M., Spiegel Online InternationaI (Jan. 2015).

Oklahoma Lawmakers Vote Overwhelmingly To Ban Advanced Placement U.S. History. Legum, J., ThinkProgress (Feb. 2015). [Christ. Doesn’t Oklahoma have enough problems already with all the earthquakes from fracking? –Ed.]

No good deed goes unpunished. Vermont Political Observer (Jan. 2015). (“What I did not anticipate was the vitriolic verbal assault from those who don’t know the difference between the Classics and illegal immigrants from South America.”) [D000000000d. Have you never been on the Internet? –Ed.]

Indisputable proof that prosecutors and politicians are penalized when they hold police accountable. King, S., Daily Kos (Jan. 2015).

Is the US the only country where more men are raped than women? Filipovic, J., The Guardian (Feb. 2015). [American exceptionalism, y’all. –Ed.]

5 Bizarre Realities of Being a Man Who Was Raped by a Woman. Anonymous, via Mannen, A., Cracked (Jan. 2015).

Pipeline explodes in West Virginia. Gardner, F., Daily Kos (Jan. 2013). (“This is the fourth major pipeline incident that’s occurred this month.”)

Hobby Lobby 2: Inside Republicans’ Plan to Kill America’s Most Effective Anti-Teen-Pregnancy Program. Baumann, N., Mother Jones (Feb. 2015). (“An innovative program has reduced the abortion rate and saved a state millions. Here’s why it’s doomed.”) [SPOILER ALERT! Because conservatives. –Ed.]

Black teens who commit a few crimes go to jail as often as white teens who commit dozens. Ehrenfreund, M., The Washington Post (Jan. 2015).

Here’s What It’s Like For A Woman To Send a Job Rejection To A Man. Creighton, J., Medium (Feb. 2015).

Liberal Racism: 25 Things I Learned After I Wrote About ISIS and White Racism at the Daily Kos. DeVega, C., Daily Kos (Feb. 2015).

Women Being Inexpertly Groped In Western Art History. Ortberg, M., The Toast (Feb. 2015). [NSFW] [Hahaha. –Ed.]

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PLZ NOTE: Acquisition of links and/or bon mots for the Palace Library does not imply the Palace’s 100% agreement with or endorsement of any content, organization or individual.

Recent reading.

Device found on White House grounds identified as drone; no threat posed. Leonnig, C.D. et al., The Washington Post (Jan. 2015). [I trust the irony of drones plaguing the White House will not be lost on Loyal Readers™… –Ed.]

Catholic nun complaining of ‘stomach cramps’ gives birth. Perez. C., The New York Post (Jan. 2015). [It’s a miracle! –Ed.]

Florida police use images of black men for target practice. theGrio (Jan. 2015). [TRIGGER WARNING: extremely disturbing violently racist images.] [These cops all need to be fired right fucking now. –Ed.]

America’s new golden age of black ops: Inside our secret global war abroad
The U.S. has already launched missions in 105 countries in 2015 — approximately 80 percent of 2014’s total. Turse, N., Salon via TomDispatch (Jan. 2015).

Holly Fisher, “pro-family” darling, exposed as an adulterer. Eberhard, J.T., patheos (Jan. 2015). [I AM SO SHOCKED. –Ed.]

Barrett Brown Sentenced to Five Years, Vows to Keep Investigating Government Wrongdoing. Garcia, M., The Intercept (Jan. 2015).

Bottomless Mimosas and Calling Out Bigots: How Brunch Just Got Real in NYC. Dwyer, L., takepart (Jan. 2015). [#crashmybrunchplz –Ed.]

Kid Author Of ‘The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven’ Says He Made It Up. Tracy Walsh, T., Talking Points Memo (Jan. 2015). [Noooo! That cannot be! –Ed.]

American Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke blames paedophile priests on ‘radical feminists’. Eleftheriou-Smith, L.-A., The Independent (Jan. 2015). [HAHAHA! -Ed.]

Leatherman Tread Wearable Multi-Tool. uncrate.com (Jan. 2015).

[WANT. –Ed.]

Why we need to address population growth’s effects on global warming. The Times Editorial Board, The Los Angeles TImes (Jan. 2015).

Science Says Teams Work Better When They’re Mostly Women. Van Winkle, D., (Jan. 2015).

When public schools get more money, students do better. Ehrenfreund, M., The Washington Post (Jan. 2015). [WHAT?! Next thing you’ll be telling me people who get more healthcare access are healthier. –Ed.]

‘I Just Had an Abortion’: A Black woman on making the best choice for herself, despite the stigmas and shaming attempts. Fierce, T., Ebony (Jan. 2015). (“On the one hand, a Black woman who goes through with an unwanted pregnancy and ends up having to use social services is shamed for being irresponsible and “leeching” off the system. On the other, a Black woman who makes the decision to terminate a pregnancy when they know having a child isn’t the best idea can be shamed for endangering the future of her race….my abortion ended up being one more reminder that Black women are so often damned if we do, damned if we don’t.”) [Well worth a read for the condemnation of Obamacare alone. –Ed.]

No, Mr. Bond: I Expect You to Frack! Watson, R., Skepchick (Jan. 2015). (“oil companies have graduated from being immoral agents of environmental disasters and global warming to being actual Bond villains.”) [Hahaha. –Ed.]

In Just the Last Four Years, States Have Enacted 231 Abortion Restrictions. Guttmacher Institute (Jan. 2015).

No Pardon – Young Woman To Serve 30 Years For Miscarriage. Salzillo, L., Daily Kos (Jan. 2015). [This is your world on conservatives. –Ed.]

100 serial rapists identified after rape kits from Detroit Crime Lab are finally processed. Craig, K., WZYZ.com (Jan. 2015). (“thousands of rape kits in Detroit and across the country that have been left sitting in storage without being processed, allowing rapists to remain free to attack again. And they often do.”) [#priorities. –Ed.]

One Tweet Shows the Hypocrisy of America’s Reaction to White People Rioting at Ohio State. Cheney-Rice, Z., Mic.com (Jan. 2015).

Record 346 inmates die, dozens of guards fired in Florida prisons. King, S., Daily Kos (Jan. 2015).

The plight of the bitter nerd: Why so many awkward, shy guys end up hating feminism. Chu, A., Salon.com (Jan. 2015).

Many more people are dying from gun suicides than gun-related homicides. Millman, J., The Washington Post (Jan. 2015).

Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions. Merlan. A., Jezebel (Jan. 2015). [LOL 4EVAH. See also this awesome reply from Funny or Die. –Ed.]

Republicans Are Killing Women: US Maternal Death Rate Climbs; Female Deaths Rise In GOP Counties. Morris, R., Addicting Info (Jan. 2015). [Congratulations, conservatives! You’re totally winning your war on women! –Ed.]

21 struggles faced by a dad raising a daughter in a sexist world. Tapley, N., Us vs. Th3m (Jan. 2015). [LOL. We should all be so lucky to have this d00d as our dad. –Ed.]

The First Woman in America to Receive an M.D. Was Admitted to Med School as a Joke. Clark, L., Smithsonian Magazine (Jan. 2015).

Crude oil spills in Yellowstone River after pipeline leak. Reuters via Raw Story (Jan. 2015).

The right’s grossest race lie: Delusional conservatives and the truth about MLK Post-Ferguson and Staten Island, the right’s again claiming MLK would be on their side. Let’s put the lie to rest. Rosenberg, P., Salon.com (Dec. 2014).

Can We Have A Smarter Conversation About Free Speech? ohtarzie (Nov. 2014). [Yes plz. –Ed.]

Vaccine deniers stick together. And now they’re ruining things for everyone. Millman, J., The Washington Post (Jan. 2015). (“No one has put it more succinctly than James Cherry, a specialist in pediatric infectious diseases at the University of California, Los Angeles, who told the New York Times, ‘There are some pretty dumb people out there.'”) [FYI they’re liberals. –Ed.]

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Quotes:

It is not my intent here to make a pitch for hate crimes laws. I don’t like laws generally and I’m very much all over the map myself where free speech is concerned. What I want more than anything is a smarter conversation about it, where the participants actually seem to know things, like that historically hate speech has occupied a privileged place relative to radical speech. Like that free speech absolutism is working out particularly well for corporations. Like that many states have had hate crimes statutes since the 1980s and the sky hasn’t fallen. –ohtarzie

Mass gun killings, which capture widespread media attention for a few days, account for just a small portion of gun-related deaths. The four worst events in the past 15 years resulted in a combined 84 homicides, according to the report —about the same number of people who have been killed by guns in the United States every day between 2003 and 2012. –Jason Millman

Recent reads.

NYC Cops Prove They Aren’t Really Needed. Lindorff, D., The Greanville Post (Jan. 2015). (“If this job action keeps up, and the city doesn’t descend into a spasm of crime and mayhem, maybe Mayor deBlasio should live up to his early billing as a former radical activist and start sacking the protesting cops.”) [Good luck with that. –Ed.]

46 examples of Muslim outrage about Paris shooting that Fox News can’t seem to find. Halper, K., Raw Story (Jan. 2015).

Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter. Editors, The Frederick News-Post (background: Delauter to The News-Post: Don’t use my name without permission. Jones, P.) (Jan. 2014). [h/t Kel] [OMFG LOL. –Ed.]

FBI says target in Colorado Springs bombing unclear. Loveless, C., KRDO.com (Jan. 2015).

Linda Tirado: ‘It was insane. I got 20,000 emails in a week’: The author of Hand to Mouth on the shock of going viral online, being vilified by critics, and now being able to afford to have her teeth fixed. Cooke, R., The Guardian (Jan. 2014).

Study: White people see “black” Americans as less competent than “African Americans”. Lopez, G., Vox (Jan. 2015). [Behold the power of words. –Ed.]

Charlie Hebdo, Bill Donohue, and the freedom of thought. Seidel, A.L., Freedom From Religion Foundation (Jan. 2015).

-and-

Coward Donohue doesn’t understand liberty. Seidel, A.L., Freedom From Religion Foundation (Jan. 2015).

[IRIS ♥ ♥ ♥ FFRF’s ANDREW SEIDEL. –Ed.]

As #LeelahAlcorn’s mom talks to CNN, Leelah’s Reddit posts come back to haunt her. Williams, C., Transadvocate (Jan. 2015). (“there is an effort to swamp trans-specific helpline call centers [STRONG TW] with bogus calls on the off-chance it will prevent a trans person from accessing help and result in their suicide”) [TRIGGER WARNING: death threats, dehumanization, epic assholery, abuse—especially at the embedded link.]

Anti-vaccination update: How the measles crisis struck Disneyland. Hiltzik, M., The Los Angeles Times (Jan. 2015). (“Disney isn’t at fault in this outbreak–heedless parents leaving their children unvaccinated are.”)

[Fuck you, anti-vaxxers. –Ed.]

Guys Need Pap Tests, Too: A Trans Man’s Guide to Visiting the Gyno. Kellaway, M., Everyday Feminism (Jan. 2015).

A Drone Flew Over A Pig Farm To Discover It’s Not Really A Farm. It’s Something Much More Disturbing. Berman, R., Upworthy (Dec. 2014) (with VIDEO: “Spy Drones Expose Smithfield Foods Factory Farms” by Mark Devries.). [h/t Don Ardell]

I’ll Bet You’ve Put Yourself In A Really Bad Position Without Even Knowing It At Least Once. Willard, L., Upworthy (Oct. 2014). (with VIDEO: “Lost in the Fine Print,” narrated by former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich, created by Alliance for Justice.) [h/t SJ]

The U.S. has more jails than colleges. Here’s a map of where those prisoners live. Ingraham, C., The Washington Post (Jan. 2015). [#priorities –Ed.]

The community of the potentially mockable. Salty Current, Butterflies & Wheels / Freethought Blogs (Jan. 2015).

In the Wake of Charlie Hebdo, Free Speech Does Not Mean Freedom From Criticism. Canfield, J., The Hooded Utilitarian (Jan. 2015).

What Stalled the Gender Revolution? Child Care That Costs More Than College Tuition. Straus, T., California Magazine (Winter 2014).

Sheets: Christians Must Take Back Government In 2015 Because ‘We Are God’s Governing Force On The Earth’. Mantyla, K., Right Wing Watch (Jan. 2015). [If this is the kind of ape it wants in charge, wow this god is a huuuuuge asshole. –Ed.]

The right-wing domestic terror plot you didn’t hear about this week. Jilani, Z., Raw Story via AlterNet (Jan. 2015).

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Quotes:

I find that the biggest fans of imperialism are the folks who thought of it first.
–Kent F. Hell-Dweller

Ugh “what if you aborted the person who’d have cured cancer?”
“No, what if you made her raise a baby at 15 instead of going to med school?”
-Beatrice (@MissObdurate) via Sally Strange

I’ve learned throughout my journey that perfection is the enemy of greatness. Embrace what makes you unique, even if it makes others uncomfortable.
–Janelle Monáe

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PLZ NOTE: Acquisition of links and/or bon mots for the Palace Library does not imply the Palace’s 100% agreement with or endorsement of any content, organization or individual. See, e.g., the linked pieces by J. Canfield and Salty Current regarding Charlie Hebdo: both are thoughtful, provocative and persuasive—and utterly irreconcilable.

Recent reading.

There’s Been HOW Many Pipeline Spills in Alberta in The Last Four Months?? Gwennedd, Daily Kos (Nov. 2014). (“Our main media, CBC, does not provide any coverage of the many, many spills and gas releases that happen every month, nor the efforts to clean up the messes. They’re simply not considered news.”)

Darren Wilson Breaks His Silence: I’m Sorry, And I Would Shoot Michael Brown Again. Badash, D., The New Civil Rights Movement (Nov. 2014). [#sorrynotsorry –Ed.]

Near-collisions between drones, airliners surge, new FAA reports show. Whitlock, C., The Washington Post (Nov. 2014).

Barack Obama, Ferguson, and the Evidence of Things Unsaid: Violence works. Nonviolence does too. Coates, T.N., The Atlantic (Nov. 2014).

Do not judge a person, until you know their story. oldnerdybasterd, The Meta Picture (Nov. 2013).

The Feminist Vampire Movie That Teaches ‘Bad Men’ a Gory Lesson. Barcella, L., Jezebel (Nov. 2014).

The Debunking Handbook. John Cook, J. and Lewandowsky, S., Skeptical Science (Jan. 2012). (pdf)

‘I can’t think of a time when it was worse’: US abortion doctors speak out. McVeigh, K., The Guardian (Nov. 2014).

Women find their voice in Ferguson protest movement. Pearce, M., Los Angeles Times (Nov. 2014).

I Belong to Me: Learning Agency & Consent Outside Christianity. Kelly, D., Patheos (Nov. 2014).

Everything We Know So Far About The Oil Rig Explosion In The Gulf Of Mexico. Atkin, E., Think Progress (Nov. 2014).

Violence isn’t the answer, unless I’m asking the question. Cromwell, I., Crommunist (Nov. 2014).

Man stabbed 9 times after asking catcaller to stop harassing his girlfriend. Kutner, J., Salon (Nov. 2014).

Battered Victim Marissa Alexander Back In Jail On Plea Bargain – Florida Injustice Wins Again. Salzillo, L., Daily Kos (Nov. 2014).

No One Wanted to Talk About Bill Cosby’s Alleged Crimes Because He Made White America Feel Good About Race. Traister, R., New Republic (Nov. 2014).

Bad Teeth, Bad People: Another Way Privileged America Shames The Poor. Parker, E., If You Only News (Nov. 2014).

5 Thanksgiving Disasters You’re Probably Not Prepared For. Cheese, J., Cracked (Nov. 2011).

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PLZ NOTE: Acquisition of links and/or bon mots for the Palace Library does not imply the Palace’s 100% agreement with or endorsement of any content, organization or individual.

Recent reading.

Jehovah’s Witness leader complains: Gay people are plotting to put everyone in ‘tight pants’. Garcia, A., Raw Story (Nov. 2014). (LOLOL! –Ed.)

Petitioning Girl Scouts of the USA: Re-model the Barbie brand Girl Scout doll to be realistic. Chiu, K., change.org (Nov. 2014). (“I was so upset to see the new official Girl Scout Barbie — a doll that does not represent the diversity or mission of the Girl Scouts, and which, of all possible things, is dressed in high-heeled hiking boots.” WHAT. –Ed.)

New York City police will stop making arrests for low-level marijuana possession. Francescani, C., Reuters via Raw Story (Nov. 2014).

Notes from a Pornographer on Sexist Sexual Imagery and Behavior. Christina, C., Freethoughtblogs (Nov. 2014). (“The idea that sex-positivity and sexual liberation means everybody expressing every sexual thought and acting on every sexual desire, the minute it pops into our heads — this is bullshit.”)

The Psychology of Spanking. [No, not the fun kind. –Ed.] (“eliminating corporal punishment of children is ‘a key strategy for reducing and preventing all forms of violence in societies.’”)

How the drug war blocked research into a promising experimental PTSD therapy​: ecstasy. Ehrenfreund , M., The Washington Post (Nov. 2014). (“Initial research suggests MDMA, used in the party drug ecstasy, could be a powerful treatment for veterans dealing with the trauma of war.”)

The flying of unauthorized drones at stadiums prompts safety concerns. Whitlock, C., The Washington Post (Nov. 2014).

Buy Your Daughter All the Butch Dolls You Want, She Still Won’t Be Able to Get an Abortion in Texas. Vargas-Cooper, N., The Intercept (Nov. 2014). (“We should disabuse ourselves of old ideas, especially this hold-over notion from the baby-boomer generation that somehow social institutions can be jammed, subverted, reformed, or overthrown through buying stuff.”)

MIT’s Crazy Materials Could Make for Self-Assembling Ikea Furniture. Flaherty, J., Wired (Nov. 2014).

Why Washington Continues to Beat the War and Disease Drums: Escalation is now a structural fact embedded in the war in the Middle East and the Ebola crisis here at home. Engelhardt, T., The Nation (Nov. 2014).

Clashes at protest over Mexico student deaths: Masked protesters, demonstrating over suspected killing of 43 students in September, clash with riot police in Acapulco. Al Jazeera (Nov. 2014).

The Tiny Police Department in Southern Oregon That Plans to End Campus Rape. Van Syckle, K., The Cut (Nov. 2014).

Soleá, the Flamenco of Seville. The New Yorker (Nov. 2014). [VIDEO.]

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PLZ NOTE: Acquisition of links and/or bon mots for the Palace Library does not imply the Palace’s 100% agreement with or endorsement of any content, organization or individual.

Iris HEARTS drones BUT JUST THIS ONE TIME!

Videographer Jos Stiglingh flew a DJI Phantom 2 drone with a GoPro Hero 3 Silver through a fireworks show. (The drone was not damaged.)

This week in surveillance, guns, drones and weed.

So this is a thing that is happening:

Thieves in UK Are Using Drones to Locate and Steal From Cannabis Farms
The burglars seek out cannabis operations in order to burglarize or extort them.

Miscreant techies in the United Kingdom are following in the footsteps of law enforcement, adopting the use of heat-seeking drones to locate pot farms, which often rely on heat-intensive hydroponic lights. However, the enterprising thieves are detecting the cannabis operations in order to burglarize or extort them.

The proliferation of drone technology is nothing new in the UK, but this particular application is the first of its kind, according to Halesowen News. The newspaper, which serves the West Midlands of England, spoke to one of these pioneering criminals about the development of the technique.

“I bought my first drone for a few hundred quid and learned how to fly it over wasteland and fitted a Wi-Fi camera to it so I could look into people’s windows,” the unnamed source said.

Well he seems like an all right d00d.

“However, I noticed police helicopters used thermal-imaging cameras to find cannabis farms because of the heat the hydroponic lights give off, so I bought a secondhand heat-seeking camera online and hooked it up to my iPad.”

It turns out that in recent years pot growing operations have been proliferating across Britain—with one entirely predictable result being a rise in people stealing the weed. The source for the article calls his targets “fair game.”

“It is not like I’m using my drone to see if people have nice televisions,” he said. “I am just after drugs to steal and sell. If you break the law then you enter me and my drone’s world.”

It’s his world, people: we just live in it. He seems nice. Wait, no. What I mean is that he’d make a nice authoritarian conservative panty-sniffer. Britain should thank the Lard it doesn’t have our gun access problem. Ooh! Hey Hollywood! I’m picturing an exciting arms race between police and drug thieves over the skies of the UK: “Copter Coppers vs. Druggie Drones.” Can they avoid crashing into each other in their efforts to be the first to capture the weed? Video game franchise, kids’ play sets, etc. etc. Hit me on my cell.

Speaking of gun access:

1 of 6 victims shot at FedEx facility remains critical; dead suspect identified as a package handler

A 19-year-old package handler, who was armed ‘like Rambo,’ opened fire on his co-workers at a FedEx facility in Kennesaw [Georgia] early [yesterday] morning, injuring six people, before killing himself.

The gunman has been identified as Geddy Kramer. Cobb County police say the man walked into the FedEx warehouse on Airport Road and opened fire. Six men and women between the ages of 19 and 52 were taken to WellStar Kennestone Hospital, where one of them remains in critical condition.

Here in the Land of the Free to be Shot™, tragic stories of mass shootings are only too common. What is uncommon about this particular story is this:

The Georgia facility is located in Kennesaw, near Atlanta, a quiet suburb unique in the U.S. for mandating every household own at least one gun.

What.

The law is not enforced, so the Kennesaw gun ownership rate hovers around 50 percent, according to its police chief. That’s still higher than the average rate of gun ownership in the U.S., estimated to be about 34 percent.

Oh, okay. So there are obviously fewer mass shootings in Kennesaw than there otherwise would be if its citizens only owned guns at the average national rate (34%?! Jeezus Haploid Christ.). Of course if everyone would just comply with the gun ownership requirement there would be even fewer still—and of course this particular tragedy would have been avoided entirely. Q.E.D.

Fortunately, Georgia seems to be on the right track in combating gun violence:

The incident comes just one week after Georgia enacted what may be the nation’s most expansive concealed carry law. The National Rifle Association-sponsored “Safe Protection Act” allows gun owners to bring firearms into most public spaces, including schools, bars, churches, airports, and government buildings, even though researchers have generally found that more people die from gun homicides in areas with higher rates of gun ownership.

“Researchers,” as we all know, is just a code word for “godless inteeleckshuls paid to enforce the New World Order,” so we should absolutely ignore them. And Melissa McEwan says about the incident, “So much for arguments about how more guns prevents mass shootings,” but I’m afraid I have to disagree. According to an eyewitness:

FedEx employee Liza Aiken told the Atlanta Journal-Constitutional she saw the shooter with an assault rifle and “bullets strapped to his chest like Rambo. I mean he looked like he was heading into war.”

What this clearly means is that everyone in Kennesaw must now carry an assault rifle and strap on enough ammunition to kill an entire enemy regiment. It’s the only way to ensure the citizens of Kennesaw are safe from people like Rambo Junior here, people.

Interestingly, FedEx is one of at least 34 corporations that support the NRA. It offers discounted shipping to NRA members.

Finally, via AcronymTV, here is a very good ten-minute discussion of some of the implications of the U.S. surveillance state and some thoughts on the legitimacy of the U.S. government. Enjoy?

Military drone crash near Pennsylvania elementary school.

Why, who ever could have seen this coming?

A nearly 400-pound unmanned aerial vehicle crash-landed near an elementary school in Lebanon County, Pennsylvania on Thursday afternoon, irritating members of the community and alarming civil liberties advocates nervous about drones flying over the US.

“Irritating?”

RQ-7 Shadow drone
(photo: Defense Industry Daily)

The drone, an RQ-7 Shadow, is 11 feet long with a 14 foot wingspan. Why it was flying in the air above Lickdale Elemantary School is unknown, but Major Ed Shank, a public affairs officer for the Pennsylvania National Guard, told Les Stewart of the Lebanon Daily News that drones operate out of Fort Indiantown Gap, an Army post in Lebanon County.

The 375-pound craft endured what officials called a “hard landing” before being run over by a civilian vehicle. No one was hurt in the incident, but the drone – reportedly worth $150,000 – was a “total loss” and rendered useless after slamming into the ground.

“Here at Fort Indiantown Gap, that’s the first time something like this has happened,” Maj. Shank told WHTM News in Lebanon. “When it does happen we investigate it very thoroughly to figure out what happened and then let the public know and let our own aviators know so that it doesn’t happen again.”

I am sure nothing like this will ever happen again. Never. Ever.

Local affiliates reported that the US Army and Marine Corps are known to use such aircraft for reconnaissance and surveillance overseas. Without elaborating, spokesman Shank maintained that the drone that went down was engaged in “training exercises.”

Lisa Cooper, who lives right down the street from where the crash occurred, said residents in the area have grown used to hearing aircraft buzzing overhead.

RQ-7 Shadow drone launch in Iraq, September 24, 2004.
(photo: public domain)

Residents of the continental United States are all going to grow used to hearing drones buzzing overhead soon enough. Still, crashing drones are probably a rare thing. It’s not like it’s ever happened before. Oh, wait:

Earlier this year, a US Border Patrol drone went down in the Pacific Ocean off the coast of southern California, costing the federal agency $12 million. The crash suffered a mechanical failure and was deliberately flown into the sea, whereupon it broke apart on impact.

That incident came after a more serious one, when a drone undergoing military exercises slammed into a US Navy battleship and injured two sailors last November. The Navy Times reported at the time that the ship “was heavily damaged by the impact of a test target,” while the 13-foot UAV “crippled a key computer center integral to the ship’s cutting edge combat systems.”

That last sentence really needs no further comment. (And it happened before that, too.)

These sure are exciting times in Drone Nation.